“The “Pee” Analogy The process of feeling hungry, experiencing a body-wisdom-based desire for a certain type of food, eating the food, stopping when satisfied, and then going off to do something else without another thought is “normal eating”. This is completely analogous to what occurs when you have to pee. You sense your body’s need, you relieve yourself, and then you go back to what you were doing. In both cases, you read a physical signal, meet the physical need, and give it no more thought. That’s normal. Now imagine what a strange world it would be if we were told that peeing had to be done on a schedule. We should pee four times a day, and it should be at four hour intervals, and we should only pee one cup at a time. If we need to pee in between times, we should hold it. If we want to pee more than one cup, we should hold that for the next time. Sound bizarre? That’s basically what a diet is. It is just as bizarre to regulate your eating according to arbitrary external rules rather than internal cues. Eating is a basic bodily function just like elimination. We don’t need to be told how to do it.”—
Do you plan to marry and have a family?” the question came from one of the four male doctors simultaneously interviewing me for admission to Cornell Medical School.
"Yes. I hope to."
"So how will you balance being a doctor and having a family?" The question, of course, was meant to be rhetorical.
"Do you have a family?" I asked. My behavior was completely irrational under the circumstances, but I had decided to set him up for the kill.
"Then you tell me. How do you balance the two?"
A nice snotty answer, exactly the wrong tone for a medical school interview, but I couldn’t help myself. I’ve just blown my chances of ever being admitted here, I thought, and yet I couldn’t seem to find it in myself to feel regretful.
City of One, by Francine Cournos
(if you ever want a really well-written, in-depth look at foster families and dysfunction, please read this book)
“If you find it unbearable, it will bear you away. ‘Remember that the greatest pains are ended by death, the smaller ones allow us periods of repose; and we are masters of the moderate ones, so that if they are bearable we shall be able to bear them; if they are not, when life fails to please us, we make our exit as from the theatre.’ What causes us to be so impatient of suffering is that we are not used to finding our principal happiness in the soul, nor to concentrating enough on her, who alone is the sovereign Lady of our actions and of our mode of being. The body knows only differences of degree: otherwise it is of one uniform disposition: but the soul can be diversified into all manner of forms; she reduces all bodily sensations and all psychical accidents to herself and to whatever her own state may be. That is why we must study her, inquire into her and arouse in her almighty principles. No reasoning power, no commandment, no force can override her inclination or her choice. She is capable of inclining a thousand ways: let us endow her with an inclination which conduces to our rest and conversation: then we are not only protected from any shocks but, if it pleases her, we are delighted and flattered by those pains and shocks. All things indifferently can be turned to profit by the soul: even errors and dreams can serve her as a matter to be loyally used to protect us and to make us contented. It can easily be seen that what gives their edge to pain and pleasure is the hone of our mind. The beasts, since they leave them to the body while leading the mind by the nose, have feelings which are free, natural and therefore virtually the same in all species, as we can see form the similarity of their reactions. If we were to refrain from disturbing the jurisdiction which our members rightly have in such matters, it is to be believed that we would be better off and that Nature has endowed them with a just and moderate temperament towards pleasure and pain. Nature, being equal and common to all, cannot fail to be just. But since we have unslaved ourselves from nature’s law and given ourselves over to the vagrant liberty of our mental perceptions, the least we can do is to help ourselves by making them incline towards the most agreeable direction. Plato is afraid of our bitter enslavement to pain and to pleasure, since they too firmly bind and shackle our souls to our bodies; I, on the contrary, because they release them and strike them free. Just as an enemy is made fiercer by our flight, so pain too swells with pride as we quake before her. If we withstand her she will make a compact on far better terms. We must brace ourselves against her. By backing away in retreat we beckon her on, drawing upon ourselves the very collapse which we are threatened by. When tense, the body is firmer against attacks; so is the soul.”—Michel de Montaigne, Book I, Chapter 14 (via wellareyou)
i hate when you’re with a friend and they want another friend to come over and they’re like “can you call him??” it’s like why don’t you call him your goddamn self you have a working phone and it was your idea to bring him over in the first fucking place it literally makes zero sense why you asked me to do this.
Ep. 14: Hyunsu, international adoption and the murder of adopted children (feat. peaceshannon)
For episode 14, BlackinAsia, unapologetically-yellow, and special guest peaceshannon discuss the state of international adoption and the recent murder of Hyunsu. peaceshannon provides important framing of the international adoption industrial complex as well as the specifics of Hyunsu’s murder. News topics this week include the Oscars and the falling out between 18 Million Rising and Suey Park, and we answer a listener ask from canadiaplease about comparisons between the Civil Rights’ Movement and the marriage equality movement and an anonymous listener’s question about the “eat the cake Annie Mae” line in Drunk in Love.
This weeks’ podcast is now out covering the topic of international adoption and the recent Hyunsu murder case. We also feature a very special guest and friend, peaceshannon! Check it out. :)